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As I write this, Dear Readers, Gill is winging her way home to spend a couple of weeks with the family. She needs a bit of a rest, but with all the major events happening during her stay, I fear she’s simply going to have to prop her eyelids open with toothpicks, plaster a smile on her face, and keep on truckin’. She has two book launch events (for her book “The Last Wave” …note the blatant motherly plug!)– one in Toronto and one here in Waterloo. And then, of course, we have L’il Sis’s wedding and all of its attendant madness.

Gill will, I hope, be somewhat mollified by the fact that the rest of us are equally exhausted–although for different reasons.

Crazy D has been working and, since his girlfriend is away doing her job, has been ‘batching it’ for several weeks. I know he’s a good cook, but let’s face it, when you live alone, it’s sometimes easier to eat from a box or eat little at all than bother cooking. I also know he’s capable of picking up after himself and cleaning, but I have a sneaking suspicion he’ll he doing a last-minute frenzied clean before his girlfriend arrives home in time for the week of the wedding. If he’s smart he will!

I have been cooking and baking for the last week or more — ensuring that there are snacks to have with the wedding wine after the ceremony and things to eat at the day-after-the-wedding breakfast which I am hosting. Now, I know what you’re thinking: breakfast? Simple…eggs, bacon, toasts, cereal. Done. Oh,no, my friends. I have to provide sustenance for regular eaters, vegans,vegetarians, ‘fussitarians’ (as Gill would say), allergy-ridden folks, and probably dogs as well. Although I have to say, the dogs will be my easiest and likely most grateful customers!

I have prepared granola — some with nuts, some without, all using canola oil instead of peanut oil, no dairy or wheat germ. Another batch has nuts, wheat germ, and taste. There are corn meal muffins made with sour supreme (tofu based instead of dairy), no wheat, no eggs. There are corn muffins made with sour cream and eggs. Blueberry muffins, morning glory muffins –both, sadly, with eggs and wheat but water instead of milk. How will I keep them straight, you ask? This ain’t my first rodeo.I went to The Dollar Store and got little sign holders so I can identify each food stuff with an appropriate label! For a simple wedding, this is becoming very complicated.

And then there’s the coffee situation. And I do mean SITUATION. My three are all ‘coffee snobs’. They insist on coffee brewed in an Italian espresso maker. The only one I have, since I don’t drink coffee, is large enough to make one cup. How that will translate into perhaps 40 cups is beyond me. I hope Gill packs her own coffee maker, the one that makes four cups, as she’s been instructed to do. The customs people are going to love her luggage. Who brings a coffee maker in their luggage? I have mentioned to The Man In My Life that I might need to borrow his Keurig machine, although I know certain people (the younger generation) turn up their noses at such decadence. But the options are few: that or you go down the street and pray that Starbucks is open on the holiday morning. Frankly, I’m beyond caring. Coffee, schmoffee…water, anyone?

Since Gill is having a local book launch event, I’ve been doing my best to act as ‘Salesperson-In-Chief’ to get friends,neighbors, and people off the street to attend. That takes time. And I have spent time chatting to the pool lifeguards about Gill’s book and the launch.

Well, what else could I do? They asked :”Is Gill coming again this summer?”

We are both well known (one might say infamous) at the pool, so naturally I had to say:”She’ll be home soon. By the way, did you know her book was published and there’s an event in town soon? ”

They got quite excited and when I asked, agreed to let me post a notice on the pool bulletin board. Well, they asked…don’t ask if you can’t take the answer, I say!

At any rate, this long preamble is to let our loyal (and not so loyal) readers know that we’ll be taking a week off from the blog. When we return, there will undoubtedly be many humorous tales to tell…and I’ll let you know how smashing little Groucho (L’il Sis’s bent and busted Dominican rescue hound) looks in his professionally made, green silk bow-tie from Australia. The bride will have a lot of competition!