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Gill is forever telling me about crises that strike her adopted home in the U.K. Brexit , of course, is the best known one at the moment (with Mrs. May’s hand-holding of The Donald recently coming in a close second) but there always seem to be many among which to choose.

There were train strikes, tube strikes, airport luggage handler strikes, trains stopped because of leaves on the tracks, rail lines either falling into the sea or being covered by the sea waves, a shortage of biscuits…you see the pattern. Why, even over Christmas, Queenie fell ill and was unable to see ‘the people’ or spend the holidays with her relatives up in Scotland. (Of course, it may not really have been illness that kept her from these things. She may, after all these years, have precious little left to say to her citizens — especially after they had the temerity and outright cheek to vote to exit the EU–and she may dread Christmas with relatives every bit as much as most of the world…but that still makes it a crisis for the Brits. The Queen just doesn’t do that sort of thing. She’s loyal and steadfast to a fault. I have to say, though, if I were in her shoes and married to Crazy Old Phil, the one with the big mouth, I’d boycott more than a speech and Christmas dinner.)

The current issue is the shortage of veggies in the grocery stores — specifically zucchini and lettuce. Winter has been cold and snowy in Europe where most of their produce originates, so it seems the zucchinis are on strike. And what there is to be found costs astronomical amounts. This is even worse for Gill, of course, since she was home recently to enjoy the plentiful and tasty produce available in North America. Let’s give a hand wave to California and Florida, shall we? (And Mexico too…although by doing so, I might incur the wrath of The Donald…and nobody wants to be in THAT perilous spot. I certainly don’t — I NEED my strawberries and avocados in the winter! The Donald might cut off my supply or build his stupid wall quickly just to thwart Canada and Mexico at the same time. That’s okay, though. I’ve heard that the drug cartels are working frantically on many tunnels under the U.S.-Mexican border so they can still ship drugs…perhaps they wouldn’t mind very much if a few strawberries and avocados hitched a ride north?)

So Gill is suffering, going into withdrawal from veggies right now…although ‘Jeff’, her name for her Crohn’s disease, is probably heaving a huge sigh of relief at not having to digest the high-fibre stuff. She always did function better with plain,bland rice.I don’t think the Chinese are pissed with the UK yet…although the rest of Europe appears to be.So I guess Gill will be okay.

Yikes! It just occurred to me: could this simply be a ploy by the EU to ‘starve the UK out’ prior to tough Brexit negotiations? You know, make the politicians so weak from malnutrition that they haven’t got the strength to bargain? If so, a genius ploy!

I’d send Gill a care package from here…but given the way Canada Post often delivers (or not) the mail, I suspect even the rats living near the Bristol pier wouldn’t eat the produce by the time it arrived. Well, it’s the thought of a loving, caring mother that counts…

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