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Gill and I shared our disgust at this week’s headlines. They were upsetting in the extreme. Terrorist attacks are everywhere. Groups are pitted against one another in country after country. Brexit has tossed the UK’s future into disarray.  The EU is a mess. And Trump is about to be the star of the Republican Sideshow, oops, I mean convention.

I couldn’t believe my ears when I heard that security is so tight, what with local Cleveland cops, the Secret Service, the FBI, and probably a special unit of The Ghostbusters on call, that people are being forbidden to bring certain things to the convention hall with them. Among those items are: tennis balls, umbrellas with metal tips, cans of tuna. Cans of tuna? I’d understand the restriction if they were talking about some of my ’emergency stash’ of tuna — ten years old if they’re a day and ready to explode if you look at them the wrong way. Definitely lethal weapons.

But the bewildering thing is that, thanks to Ohio’s open carry laws, guns such as AK47s and AK15s are permissible! Oh, the authorities are trying to suggest that such guns, although legal, would not be a good idea. But that particular train has left the station. In what alternative universe do angry protesters and semi-automatic machine guns sound like a good mix? And the spurious argument that if everyone is armed, the police won’t know who is a good guy and who is a bad one, beggars belief. At that point, they’re all bad guys! Really, people…

I can just imagine how Trump will ‘spin’ things if violence breaks out and, heaven forbid, someone gets shot. “Well, if the guy who got shot had had three rifles instead of just a small handgun, he would have been able to protect himself. I tell you, it makes people weak. Weak, I say! We must legislate for better gun laws immediately!”

Or: “Clearly, if that bunch of angry women hadn’t had their ‘time of the month’ and hadn’t listened to Ruth Bater Ginsberg’s stupid comments about me, things would have been fine. You just can’t expect rational behavior from women sometimes…except from my daughter Ivanka. Now there’s a smart woman! And I have to tell you, if she weren’t my daughter, wow!…” He grins lasciviously.

Or: “You see? I told you the Muslims were responsible for all the terror in the world! If we had stopped them all at the border, this shooting never would have happened. When I’m President, the wall goes up…stop the raping Mexicans, stop the terrorists, stop everyone…” It is then pointed out to him that the person shot was a Muslim. “See?They even kill their own!” While he rants, he is informed that the victim was also a policeman, doing his patriotic duty at the convention. Awkward.

There are so many ways this could all go so very wrong. I wonder how Trump will explain his credentials as the ‘law and order’ candidate then. Then again, at that point, it won’t matter. Chaos and Trump will be ‘winning’ — his only goal, selfish and narcissistic as it is. I’m not religious (unlike Trump, a self-proclaimed Christian when it suits him) but I’m going to say:God bless the United States of America. Heaven knows, they’ll need all the help they can get!

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