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Gill has really done it now.  She sent me a clipping from The Guardian about a recent study in England. With the current gales and massive flooding there, scientists are trying to come up with longterm solutions for the island’s soon-to-be-underwater status. And guess what the answer is?

Beavers. That’s right…beavers, those annoying little rodents that wreak such havoc here in Canada. Well, it didn’t take long for The Pig (L’il Sis’ beagle) to catch a whiff of this disturbing news. In fact, L’il Sis had to wrestle her for the suitcase this morning when The Pig read the news. If L’il Sis hadn’t hidden her Visa card, The Pig would have already booked her flight — sort of like Superwoman flying in to help. Superbeagle is on the case! She wasn’t going to take a beaver invasion lying down…even if it was in a foreign country. She’s put in many long hours here in Canada (at our country acreage and in local conservation areas) destroying beaver dams and doing her best intimidation act to make sure the rodents hit the road and never return. She wasn’t about to allow this foreign folly to continue. Imagine the crushing blow The Pig endured when she found out the critters are being lauded as the next, greatest conservation solution ever! Oh, the humiliation…

It seems that, where the beavers have made a comeback, the water quality is improved, species are reinvigorated, water is controlled and flooding is averted during heavy downpours. It would appear that encouraging beavers is a win-win. Why, if things carry on in this vein, the next thing we know The Queen will be knighting the bloody things! And I don’t care what anyone says, a beaver with a medal hanging around its neck and acting all high and mighty is not improving anyone’s quality of life. Certainly not The Pig’s.

Why, the last time she had a go at at the beaver dam on our country property, I treated her like Queen for a day. She wrestled the sticks apart and would not be deterred in her mission to save us from the beaver invasion. Everywhere there were dead trees lying in the swamp they had created with their dam — trees full of nasty-looking teeth marks. Those creatures put chain saws to shame! I was, while watching The Pig’s systematic destruction of the dam, fearful that the critter would surface and take a chunk out of Piggy’s hide, but thankfully, Piggy succeeded in her mission unscathed…except that she was covered in small wood chips and smelled a lot like wet beaver — a smell only slightly more unpleasant than her normal hound aroma.

And so, in Britain, the lowly beaver has achieved celebrity status. Soon they’ll be creating a Royal Commission on Flood Management and appointing the beaver with the biggest teeth the ‘Chief Minister For Transformational Engineering’, known in colloquial terms as ‘Big Tooth’. I don’t want to be around when The Pig gets a sniff of THAT.

In the meantime, I think we should strongly consider an outing to our country property to let The Pig have another go at OUR beaver. It would boost her self-worth and help soften the blow and the indignity of the British beavers’ status. Better (and cheaper) than a shrink anyday…