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Ah, kale. That most loathsome of hipster vegetables. It’s everywhere now. Even the potato chips aisle of the supermarket, which used to be a bastion of civilisation, offering only things that were unabashedly bad for you.

Now it has kale chips. Kale made out to be like potato chips, except good for you.

I call bullshit on this. Wholeheartedly.

I couldn’t say for certain what it is exactly that enrages me about the Kale Fad, but I suspect it includes something along the lines of if everybody else is doing it, I probably won’t like it. It’s for this reason that I’ve never eaten a Big Mac, or seen Titanic.

L’il Sis and Crazy D are not the only two who have tried to get some kale into me. One of my best friends has tried over the years to do it, rather unsuccessfully. She usually wilts it a bit and puts it onto of curry, so that I have to get through the kale to get to the good stuff. It’s a great tactic, but usually, I push it to one side and ignore it completely.

There are times when the Crohn’s is bad and eating fruits and veggies is not a good idea for me. Too much fibre. That everyone insists it’s good for me and refuses to listen when I explain that it’s actually death on a large green stalk is ignored.

But I think that for The Mom and I the problem with kale is its worthiness. All the other veggies are good for you too, so why is kale the superstar? Why not peas? Why not broccoli? Tomatoes? Corn? Chinese water spinach? (which is delicious when fried up with more garlic than advisable unless with close friends). The thing is, you can do all kinds of things to kale, but it’s not going to taste that much better. It’s still bitter and miserable.

Here in Bristol, there are lots of little free gardens strewn about the city, so people in need can harvest what they like. The majority of the veggies on offer are kale. Which seems to be to be both cruel and unusual. Oh, hi, you don’t have enough money for food? Eat this nice kale. You could forgive people for flocking to the nearest McDonald’s.

At least, I could’ve until The Mom informed me that even MickyD’s was doing kale. Which made me fairly certain the End Times were coming.

There is a push towards clean living that I think is really good, except when it goes totally overboard and becomes a weird version of personal austerity. Balance is required.

Which is sort of achieved at The Mom’s, after a fashion. The Mom and I, for various reasons, eschew kale, and try to eat a mostly balanced diet. We could eat more veggies, and less popcorn. L’il Sis and Crazy D focus on food as a nutrition injections system. It’s fair to say they could have a bit more fun and a bit more popcorn. But all in all, things even out. The Mom and I slip them a bit of junk food, and in turn, they slip us a bit of kale, hidden in curries, soups, and stews.

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