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Either the master illusionist has been in my home, I’ve been taking some very strong drugs, or early Alzheimer’s has set in. Hard to say which…

I went for a half-hour walk today and when I came back into the house through the mudroom, the collection of shoes that normally resides on the two-rack wooden stand lay all over the floor. “Hmm, that’s odd,” I said out loud to myself. Since seeing piles of things everywhere is not unusual around here, it took me a minute to realize that the rack itself was also not there. Had elves absconded with it? Did we have a resident poltergeist? Had a master illusionist come in the dark of night and stolen the shoe rack? ‘Fess up, Mr. Copperfield. Had it been in place when I left on my walk? I hadn’t a clue. So much for my powers of observation. I certainly hope the cops never need to depend on me me as an eye witness to prosecute a criminal.

I went to the garage shortly thereafter to get birdseed to fill up my outdoor feeders. Although I had walked in through the garage after my walk, I now noticed that my car was missing. Had it been there when I was in the garage before? Damned if I know! This was the point at which a normal person from a normal family would have panicked and, assuming a Grand Theft Auto had taken place (minus the semi-automatics), would have called either the police or their insurance agent. Not me…

“Hmm, that’s odd,” I said. “You’d think I’d have noticed the car was gone before…” Crazy D’s car was still there (granted it’s much older and the mess inside it would scare any thief away), but knowing how this house operates, I figured Crazy D needed my car for some errand that he couldn’t do in his. It still COULD have been David Copperfield, but more likely not.

Sure enough…my mind, quick as ever, flashed back to Crazy D’s potential list of errands for the day and settled on Errand #3–a trip to the dump to take the extremely heavy concrete posts that were to hold our neighbour’s new wrought iron fence in the ground but had to be taken out and had been ignored by the garbage collectors for three weeks…Anybody out there follow that? I thought not. But that was the only logical answer…Crazy D’s car shocks are a tad delicate at the moment. Mine are fine…or they WERE fine before the fence posts got to them. As I stood there musing, the door opener started into motion and there was Crazy D, returning my car…minus the fence posts that were happily at the dump. He had done his Good Samaritan deed for the day.

A few days later, Crazy D was on a bike ride. The house was quiet. L’il Sis and The Pig hadn’t been here all week. I walked in to find a cereal bowl and spoon on the kitchen counter, the remnants of some cereal in the bowl.  “Okay, so Mr. Copperfield had an attack of the munchies,” I said out loud to let the elusive intruder know I was on to him. I was slightly unsettled, but not unduly alarmed.

Perhaps now is as good a time as any to mention that, since the kids were teens, our house has always had people wandering in and out. Some have keys; others just know that the side door is often unlocked…my theory being that, if a real intruder manages to make it through the death trap that is my garage, then the equally treacherous mudroom, then past several dogs that may or may not live here, they deserve anything they can get! But now that my kids are grownups, this happens not nearly as frequently.

When Crazy D arrived home two days later, we chatted about his trip. I began to tell him about my strange poltergeist occurrences and he laughed. “Oh, the bowl of cereal was mine, Mom. I forgot something for my bike trip and had to come back for it when you were out. And since I was here anyway, I had a snack. Sorry if it scared you!”

“Ha! It takes more than weird happenings, missing objects, and things that go bump in the night to scare me…I’m a mother!”