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I send Gill ‘old school’ clippings from newspapers; she sends me links to funny things on the internet. The latest was a scream! It seems Bristol, in its relentless goal to be the #1 environmental city in the EU, has undertaken an experiment with Bus # 2. Are you ready, dear readers? It is powered by biofuel (biomethane) from human poo. I love it!

And it’s not as though this is being done on the down-low. No, decorating the side of the bus are several pictures of people sitting on the toilet, doing their best to contribute to this civic effort. (Although Gill tells me she has yet to see the bus on Bristol roads. For purposes of this blog, I believe she’s going to go out stalking the bus.) Well done, Bristol. If there was ever a case of turning lemons into lemonade, this is it.

When Gill first alerted me to this item on the internet, I couldn’t resist making bad jokes.

“Well, I assume they have quality control engineers…you know, people who approve or don’t approve the quality of the, shall we say, ‘raw product’? I mean, you can’t have just any old shit in the mix, can you? I certainly don’t think, if they saw YOUR poo when you’re having a Crohn’s outbreak, they’d let your contribution anywhere near the city supply. There ARE limits…”

“Very funny, Ma. I’m sure, once they mix it all up together, a few low grade samples wouldn’t make the whole batch bad. I mean, my poo may be frothy, fluffy or particularly fragrant, but the chemical ingredients necessary are still there. In fact, there may even be some particularly potent ingredients that might actually benefit the whole process. Surely my poo is good for something. It certainly isn’t helping ME move forward in life! I’d like to think I’m contributing to society in some small way…”

The thing I really like about this entire endeavour is that it is ‘locally sourced’. It takes things up a significant notch from just buying local kale, doesn’t it? So the residents of Bristol can take the bus, happily moving through town, feeling pride that they personally are fueling the transportation. This takes recycling to a whole new level.

And the marketing people are geniuses. Naming the bus ‘Bus #2″ couldn’t be more appropriate. Can you imagine the slogans they could use? How about: “The more you shit, the further you go.” Or: “Forget Victory Gardens…Shitting is Your Civic Duty.” Your ‘Doo doo’ makes us Go Go”. I could go on for hours…

I do think that this Bristol experiment should be broadened to include London buses. Just imagine the amount of fuel that could be generated from all the bullshit produced by politicians in the government buildings…especially during this past election season. And while things politicians say often don’t ‘pass the smell test’, Bus #2 apparently does. And the bus at least labels the ‘bullshit’ as such…as Gill would say, ‘it does what the label says’…more than the politicians can pledge.

 

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