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The poor Pig. She doesn’t know it yet, but the next few weeks are going to be difficult for her. Or perhaps she does sense something in the air — given the stinkeyes she keeps giving us. You see, dear readers, Mr. Pants (Crazy D’s puppy) will be with us next week and then Jewel, the large neighbour hound, the week after…with one crucial night when all three dogs are in the house. We, the people, may have to leave.

The Pig has had a hard time trying to maintain her place as Head Bitch. She fought Poochie to get there and now, we seem to have no respect for her stature and insist on bringing in competition every time she turns around.

I imagine it’s much the way Gill felt when she was a mere 17 months and Crazy D showed up. At least with Gill, we had been forewarned about sibling jealousy. We bought her off with, I believe, a doll. When L’il Sis arrived, not too long after Crazy D, I was too frantic to care who did what to whom and how they felt about it. The name of the game was survival — for me! The kids would have to work out their petty squabbles themselves.

The Pig may have to up her game this time when Mr. Pants comes. Since he is still a puppy, full of energy and mischief, he tends to outmaneuver her. She’ll always win the Pity Vote with her morose expression and big brown eyes, but he, with his whirling dervish antics, has us doubled over with laughter as she slides further down the pole.

His parting shot at The Pig last visit was his display of humping her bed. It lies (permanently) at the entrance to the kitchen, partially in the living room. Crazy D had hoped that having The Snip would tone down his love of humping, but it was not to be. Mr. Pants tackled first the corner of the bed, putting on an aggressive display. Then another corner. Then he threw the bed up in the air, pounced on it and humped the middle.And he turned towards the camera while Crazy D was filming the whole incident, appearing to be showing his best side (of what we won’t specify!)

The Pig was watching from the sidelines, horror written all over her face. You could see her saying:”WHAT is he doing to my bed? He’s defiling it…AND ME!” She refused to sleep on it until it had been washed. Can’t say I blame her. And so he’s coming again(no pun intended but since it happened, I’m going to leave it!) to further humiliate her.

When Jewel arrives, the competition will shift slightly to a war for Grandma’s favour.  Jewel, being much larger and a haughty presence whichever room she is in, just walks in and takes over, leaving The Pig second in the food line, the water line, the treat line, the cuddle line. She has taken it in her stride (with the odd exception) until now but I feel her patience wearing thin. She WILL break one day I fear.

When the kids were working out THEIR family order, they often tried to get each other in trouble by falsely accusing the others or goading the others into doing something bad and then claiming innocence. I almost wish Gill, as the older and presumably most worldly-wise of the gang, were going to be with us to give The Pig some instruction as to how to proceed at the Winning Game. Maybe I can arrange a Skype session between Gill and The Pig. Until that time, I plan to offer The Pig a couple of my well-guarded Valium pills. She’s a mother herself — she’ll understand the need.

 

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