L’il Sis went to a friend’s wedding this weekend. Three weeks before, she waltzed into my room wearing the fabulous dress she planned to wear. I was with her when she bought it –on sale– months ago. It was a unique, gorgeous dress. It looked spectacular on her. (If I were thirty years younger,wasn’t saggy, baggy and wrinkled, I’d steal it!) She was excited when she bought it and I could tell she loved it. She had bought new shoes and was modeling the whole outfit for my approval.
“You look fabulous!” I offered.
“Thanks, Mom. Although I may need to raid your closet for a jacket…” she added.
“No problem. Just let me know what you need to borrow.” I still buy nice things…whether or not I wear them is a moot point. Someone will.
This do was special since it was a friend and work colleague getting married and L’il Sis was the couturier, having made both the 40s style wedding gown and the ‘party dress’ for the reception. I could sense she wanted to look good as she accepted well-deserved accolades from the other guests.
A week before the event, she pranced in with another dress — black sequins all over it. It too was gorgeous. “I like this one better,” she explained.
“It IS beautiful but I thought you loved the other one,” I said, slightly confused.
“I do…but I just wasn’t feeling it for this wedding…” Fair enough…I too have been known to have many such ‘shopping accidents’.
Came the day of the wedding, L’il Sis was rushing around to get ready. Friends were picking her up and she didn’t have much time. She had worked all morning, wolfed down a lunch and began to assemble the outfit. I was working at my computer near her room. She ran out to get me to fasten the back strap on her bra. She ran down the hall, tripping over The Pig and Jewel, the neighbor Vizsla hound, who were both doing their best to clog the path. In a high-pitched voice, she spoke to the duo: “Sorry, puppies, but this is not the time to get in the way.” The Pig was sad since she knew L’il Sis would soon be leaving her to go out with somebody else, not her.
When I pointed this out, she said, “Oh, she could come. Her name was on the invitation…”
At which point I jumped up and said, “I think I could find her something fetching to wear…”
“Mom! Just kidding…she was SORT OF invited but not really.”
“Aw, too bad,” I said, looking apologetically at The Pig.
L’il Sis was in the bathroom applying her makeup — including bright red lipstick. She came out for an opinion — mine. “I think it looks good.” I offered.
She took that, mulled it over and then turned to Crazy D who was at the computer in his room. “Crazy D, does this lipstick look too clownish?” she asked him.
“No…but I think it’s too orange.”
I piped up: “You’re asking HIM for a fashion opinion? Have you seen what he wears?”
He took umbrage immediately. “Hey, I’ll have you know I have dated some very pretty girls!”
L’il Sis jumped to his defense. “Mom, nothing against your opinion. Sometimes I just need a dude’s opinion!”
“Fair enough,” I said, backing off. And then I wondered. Her two, yes two, ‘dates’ for the evening were her two gay friends. Was she trying not to embarrass them (since as gay men, they have a rep to keep up in terms of being fashionistas) or was she hoping to meet an actual eligible bachelor? I don’t care either way. When her friend came to the door, looking very dashing, I commented on how stylish he looked. Then he admitted that he hadn’t been able to fit into his dress pants since he’d been working out recently and ‘his ass looked fat in them’. “Oh, tell me about it,” I commiserated. “I know what you mean! Happens to me all the time…”
Then he admitted that his shirt was also too tight at the neck — same issue with the gym. The bow tie didn’t fit perfectly. But he still looked mah-velous, to quote Billy Crystal. I felt I was in a “Modern Family” re-run with Mitch and Cam discussing diets.
I glanced upstairs to see if L’il Sis was ready and there sat her ‘dressing committee’: the two hounds, sitting at the top of the stairs, watching and making, I assume, their final critical decisions as to her appearance. Four black evening purses lay on the floor — all from my closet. She reached past the pooches and grabbed one. Both dogs looked at her…the Vizsla has a look that bores right through you. A quick glance at the hound, a consultation really, made L’il Sis put the purse down and pick up another one. Her committee seemed happier with this choice. She was ready.
I sensed The Pig was still a bit miffed at not being included in the evening’s soiree. To bolster her spirits, Crazy D put on her fetching pink and orange plaid winter coat with her flowery blue rain cape over it to protect her from the cold and rain and trotted her outside for a short tour of the neighborhood. She was somewhat mollified. Both hounds then settled in my room for a movie and popcorn…I think, all things considered, they had a delightful evening, content with the knowledge that they had sent ‘their charge’ off, like Cinderella to the ball, looking ready to kill.