You’d be forgiven for thinking that Crazy D brings most of this stuff on himself. But what happens, in actual fact, I do believe, is that there is something in him that draws the crazy to him. And it just so happens that sometimes the kind of crazy he attracts seems to have mustered whatever it takes to obtain a gun license.
I have managed to get used to Crazy D casually mentioning that he is or is about to thwart death. IT’s kind of just how he rolls. And to be honest with you, I think he likes it. And, since we’re being honest, I suspect part of The Mom rather enjoys it too. Because otherwise, there would be no funny stories for her to tell.
Most mothers like to brag about their children and their children’s successes. In our family of course the successes are usually eclipsed by the hap hazard way in which we managed to make them happen, and oftentimes those stories are far, far more interesting than the successes they led to.
I also suspect that since she’s got L’il Sis at home with her now, The Mom can’t watch quite as much CNN as she’d like which has had the unusual effect of less panic from her department, which is just as well. Though, what with CNN’s bias towards America, I doubt she’d have heard about all the fighting that was going on in DRC whilst Crazy D was there, but even if she had done, Crazy D was clever in that he didn’t tell her he’d be there. He wisely told her he’d only be in the neighbouring countries, traipsing around in the jungle and since she’s never been to a jungle in Africa, she didn’t really know what was trying to kill him.
I suspect that armed hunters aren’t really his biggest problem. Because his biggest problem is the same one everyone else in our family has– which is that when we are bored we are prone to doing foolish things, by which of course I mean making rash decisions and taking risks.
I eat unwisely, downing salad after salad, followed by pints of beer which is guaranteed to get me and my Crohn’s admitted to hospital faster than a gunshot wound would do. So I can only imagine what Crazy D is getting up to in the woods in Northern Ontario. By all accounts the boredom is settling in which means he’s getting twitchy. If things are settled for too long… Well, let’s just say it’s not so good.
I’m reading a book right now that has a character who is a journalist over in the Middle East during whichever war. This chap has to come back to his family in peaceful Britain and he just about loses his mind. Which is kind of what I imagine will happen to Crazy D if he goes for long enough without at least taunting death and mayhem. The parents of the character in this book look at their son and tell him they believe he’s some kind of war junky, that he feeds off the excitement of it all. And I do believe this could apply, in a way, to Crazy D. It’s not so much that he goes looking for this sort of stuff, it’s that this sort of stuff knows he can take it and cope admirably.
I always think there will just come a day when he finally takes off to our property in the country and just sets up camp. He’ll grow a beard and maybe some vegetables and do Crazy D stuff during the day, twittering with knobs and sounds and playing music and after a while he won’t have to worry about crazy people coming out of the woods shooting at him, because he’ll just be the crazy chap in the woods. And I say this with love and admiration. I’ve always wished I had the good sense to wander off into the woods and just howl at the moon, but I dislike the woods and feel it would be wasted on me.
But someone should. Because it would make a great ending to the autobiography I’ll write concerning Crazy D’s life.