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I opened my email yesterday to find a ‘friendly reminder’ from the local library that some of my books are due. Now, isn’t that nice? I think back to when the kids were young and on the verge of being arrested every week for overdue books and failure to pay fines. In fact, it was a standing joke in the family. I believe two out of the three kids came close to not graduating from high school as a result of delinquent fines…not to mention the occasional missing book. I won’t reveal names, but I suspect you regular readers will be able to figure that out. A valuable clue might be the stack of unpaid parking tickets Crazy D has stacked up on his dresser (aka, his ‘filing system’) and a certain book on foreign lands recently unearthed in a box of Gill’s ‘don’t throw out on pain of death’ stuff. I’m just sayin’…

As a mother who always taught her children to write ‘thank you’ notes after receiving birthday or Christmas presents, I appreciate such niceties. I also appreciate my car dealership’s diligence in sending out ‘Thank you’ emails to reward me for bringing the car in for regular service. I’m not entirely convinced all those service appointments are necessary, but just in case the back wheel is about to fall off, I figure I should err on the side of caution.  And, in another example of their sincerity, just like dentists, they thank me for booking and thus remind me of upcoming appointments. They also scare me shitless by telling me in confidence that if I don’t take advantage of regular service, my warranty could be voided. (I mean this with respect to my car; it could also hold true for the teeth.) Nice to know.

In that same spirit of graciousness, Gill will be happy to know that Health Canada still cares about her, regardless of the fact that she is living elsewhere at the moment. A second letter (they are nothing if not persistent) arrived this week to remind her to be screened for cervical cancer  by having a Pap test. Her comment, when last I mentioned it, was:” Guess I better get on that here…” Yup, when Hell freezes over. Which is probably why she keeps getting the reminders. Maybe the authorities think that being annoyed from across the pond will result in Gill taking action. Oh, they SO don’t know her!

Now, if I could only get the politicians to be as polite as these official agencies. But no, they interrupt my dinner, my naps, my favorite television shows to bombard me with their robo campaign messages. I might be inclined to vote for one of them if they could exhibit the slightest degree of concern for my time (or money or future). I hold out hope that my new favourite, ‘None of The Above’, will shows signs of politeness. Perhaps we the people could take a page (pun intended) from the libraries and give our political leaders access cards when they win an election. We could give them three weeks to prove their worth and if they fail, recall them, put them back on the shelves until they again attract us to take a look at them by displaying their flashy covers. We’d be polite and respectful, we’d just reserve the right to find them dull, full of useless verbiage, or based on factual errors. And it would be quicker, less stressful, and cheaper than our current election system. And of course we’d send them a polite notice that their time is up.

 

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